MOUSE!

Oh my heavens.

My heart is still pounding as I type this.  My hands are shaking.  And I had to share.

A few months ago our cat, Oliver, caught a Deer Mouse in the backyard.  I saw it happen and threw a sand pail on the mouse and shooed Oliver away.  One of the things I do like about our cat (there are many I don't) is that he is a good rodent cat.  We rarely have moles, mice, or other varmints in our yard.  I intended to keep it long enough to show the kids, but showed #1 first.

The way #1 tells it is all wrong.  He says this was all my idea.  Nope.  HE was the one who suggested we keep it, not me.  I was surprised, but after all he loved rodents when he was a kid, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.  He'll tell you it was me, but I was on a catch and release mission.  Anyway, into a cage it went.  We've fed it peanuts, cheerios, and birdseed ever since.

This morning I am cleaning out the homeschool room.  It has become a dumping ground in the last couple of weeks, and the boys slept on the floor in there for a few days while we had company.  We start back to school on Monday and I would like a nice clean slate.  Snug is 1/2 way done with his school year and LMM is going to start kindergarten here soon.  A clean well-organized room motivates me more than anything else.

I decided to start with cleaning the mouse (Ralph) cage first since the shavings get everywhere and it tends to be the messiest job.  We rarely see Ralph.  He is nocturnal and rarely makes an appearance.  He's been a rather disappointing classroom pet on my part.  He usually hides in a small wicker ball that came with his cage.  When you clean his cage you have to be fast-I don't pick him up by hand as I don't really want to be bit.  I make sure he is in his ball and then quickly scoop it up and put it in a hamster ball we have-the whole thing fits inside and then I pop the top on.  I have to be fast because otherwise he runs out of his wicker ball and runs wildly around his cage for awhile.  This time he didn't make an appearance, even in the blue plastic exercise ball.  As I cleaned the cage I was becoming convinced that he had passed.

I was starting to feel a little sentimental that our Ralph had died and deciding how to break it to the kids.  Then, in a sick way, I was happy.  Now we could get something a little more...active.  Something actually fun to watch!  As I was by this time convinced he was dead, I didn't quickly stick the wicker (ok, it isn't wicker, but I don't know how to describe it otherwise) ball back into the cage.  I was deciding if I should just empty the contents into the trash.

SHOOT!  That stupid mouse was not dead, he had instead been sleeping or something and sprang out of that ball like a shot and was clinging to my HAIR!  Gotta say I didn't keep my cool and then all the kids came running as did the cat.  That stupid mouse dropped to the floor and was running all over the room.  He then ran under the door and out into the hall.  I had grabbed the cat by this time and when the mouse ran in the boys' room I had them close the door and shove dirty clothes in the crack underneath to keep it contained.

After about 15 minutes of furniture moving and LMM being my rodent spotter I finally put a pencil box over him and he is back in the cage.  STUPID STUPID mouse.

Come Over To My House!

 Hey there!  Rosebud here!  Come on in and play with me.  Looks like I need to tidy up a bit before I have company over, but no matter.

 I'll give you a little tour.  This is where I take care of my babies.  The one in the cradle is my mommy's from when she was my age.  Her name is Baby Hannah.  The fact that my mommy was little once and her dolly's name was Hannah can be so confusing at times.  Have you met my mother? Confusing could be her middle name.  But it isn't.  There's another confusing thing.  We have the same middle name.  Can we please branch out on the name giving people?

 Often I am seen walking around with my baby's bathtub on my head.  It is my helmet in case my brothers are around.  It is also a way to try and trick my mother into thinking I have clean hair, when indeed I do not.  Those dinner plates just creep their way up on my head with food still on them.

 There's a fire escape if you pull my walls apart like this.  Safety first people.  Never mind that my house has an "open front" feel to it already.

 This is where I wash all my dirty dishes and clothes.  You can see my husband sitting next to the sink looking like I put him in "time out".  Just kidding, it is just Monkey Man's Woody doll over for a visit.  Don't tell LMM though, cause he isn't too happy when his toys visit my house.

Nice visiting with you, come again soon!

Whew!

I am getting worse and worse about posting.  Summer will do that to me.  However, I have been getting really bad about even taking pictures of the kids. Haven't taken one since Memorial Day!  That is very unlike me.

What have we been up to?  Well, the weather has been hot and sticky.  My parents came down for part of the week to help #1 install a new water heater.  It had been leaking gallons of water onto our basement floor for about a week.  I've always heard you do NOT want to drink the hot water from your tap as if you saw the inside of your water heater it would make you sick

Guess what.  What came out of the bottom of our water heater looked like someone had GOTTEN sick all over our floor.  DO NOT DRINK THE WATER OUT OF YOUR HOT WATER TAP.  Trust me on this one.

In other news, we've been doing 4-6 ball games a week.  I knew when I married my husband sports would be involved.  I'm not sure I knew to what level.  Snug himself had 3 games this week.  And oh has it been hot.

We installed an alarm on Little Monkey Man's bedroom door (ok, in all fairness it is also Snug's door, but he needs no alarm).  He has a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and finding things to do.  We don't even wake up and hear him.  What sort of things are there to do in the middle of the night?  Well, you can put pencils in your sister's crib, remove pages from board books and regular books alike, eat mama's snack for Sunday School, find scissors, and then I shared some documentation of the great nail polish mess.  For all of you out there who may need a solution to similar problems...the alarm works great.  We know each and every time he gets up and runs around the house.  And due to the fact that his sensory needs include HATING loud noises he isn't making...he hates the alarm and just stays in his room!

Today is my last day of Draycare for the summer.  I am very ready to be done.  Not ready to live off of one income, but I am tired.  I'm ready to head out for daily outings with just my biological children.  Not that I don't like my daycare kids, I do.  I am just ready for summer!

So that's what we've been up to.  What's new with you?

Heavens Boy. Heavens.

 Little Monkey Man keeps my life.  Interesting.  Last night he attempted to give himself a pedicure.  In his bed.  With contraband nail polish he climbed on mommy and daddy's bathroom counter to reach out of the medicine cabinet.  

 His sheets will never be the same.  Neither will his jammies.  #1 discovered the crime scene when he walked past the boys' door around 9pm and smelled something.  He found LMM with nothing but his brother's skivvies on attempting to cover up his deed.  He had taken off his jammies and hid them.  He had also put the cap back on the polish and it was under his pillow.

This is just part of his body that has bright red paint on it.  I, for obvious reasons, didn't take any other pictures of the little man.  But it is suffice to say it looks like he's been in a slasher film.

Heavens boy.  Heavens.

You Know...One of THOSE Weeks.

We had one of THOSE weeks.  I haven't posted in awhile, because, well, this post will explain itself.  

Last week, Tuesday Snug got sick in the evening with a high fever and cough.  By Wednesday morning he was completely fine.  Everyone else around us has been sick, but I really had the audacity to think that we'd escaped.  Pride cometh before the fall.

Fast forward to Thursday night (or was it Friday morning...it all becomes a blur when you are up 5 times a night with your 2 year old).  When #1 got home from work Little Monkey Man woke up and had to "potty".  He was burning up- 103.9.  He also started coughing fits that could only be quieted with breathing treatments.  This went on all weekend, with Rosebud getting a fever (not nearly that high) and cough for, like Snug, less than 24 hours.  Monday LMM was so bad I took him to our doctor.  He was diagnosed with walking pneumonia.  Anti-biotics and more breathing treatments took us into Tuesday.  By Tuesday morning he was a new little man.  Whew, we are out of the dark.

Or not.  

Wednesday morning LMM woke up with his fever back up into the 102's and he could hardly breath.  Along with that he was so lethargic he cried every time he tried to stand up.  Back to the doctor with daddy.  I had a daycare kid that day because on Tuesday, he had been FINE!  

Doctor took him as soon as I called, checked him over briefly, and called our Children's Hospital saying he was on his way.  #1 stopped at home so I could take him in.  I could answer the "what, how much, how long, how often, when" questions as I had been the one with him since the entire sickness started.  

As we sat in the waiting room, poor little guy could hardly sit up by himself.  I filled out all the paperwork, rubbed his hot little head, and waited.  We were led to a Triage room where I answered a bunch of questions, and when they asked what medications he had taken that day I realized in the middle of giving him breathing treatments and his anti-biotic and his daily vitamins...he had NEVER HAD MOTRIN!!!  Hello.  No wonder he had a fever of 103.2 at the hospital.  He was given what looked to be a double dose by the nurse-pronto.    

We were just wrapping up the "give us your life history" portion of our ER tour when I felt the need to use the little girl's room.  I asked the nurse, who directed us across the hall, and carried LMM in there.

The end.

Or not.

I then decided that I NEEDED to use the little girls room, threw LMM's coat on the sink and used the facilities.  The sink was automatic.  Begin water flow directly on LMM"s coat sleeve.  

Poor LMM could hardly stand, he's crying, flushed, and sick as can be.  And mommy proceeds to use that hospital bathroom for the next, oh, I'm not exactly sure how long.  Many many people knocked on the door.  I'm going to guess about 30 minutes.

I was losing my breakfast, lunch, and what seemed to be last month's dinner from two directions (my mom said not to be too graphic...so you can use your OWN imagination).  I finally had to use the "call a nurse" button.  In walks a young nurse who was super confused upon the scene she walked into.  I was in so much pain I didn't even really care (at the moment) what all of me she was seeing.  I just knew that my poor baby needed some help.  He just kept swaying in place and saying "mom mom.  sick.".  I felt horrible.  

She finally got me a basin and off the commode and back into the triage room where a very confused intake nurse was sitting.  She said something like "You were just in here. You were fine.  You answered all my questions".  I may or may not have said something...or nodded...dunno.

I was laid down on a child size gurney to writhe in pain and lose a few more pounds of fluid from my body.  At first they put Little Monkey Man on said gurney WITH me, but you know, there are just some things that are physically impossible.  It is a good thing I am the size of an average 14 year old (weight wise...height wise I'll give me 12)  so I could fit on the gurney at all!  By this time his mega dose of Motrin had kicked in so he sat in the chair at my bedside.  He kept telling them he needed a drink so he was blessed with not one but two slushies.  

He also kept telling the intake nurse "mom mom.  sick.  My head was spinning in pain and after another 30 minutes or so gathered my wits enough to tell the nurse there was a phone in my purse.  We called my dear dear husband who was about as confused as everyone else.  I do believe his exact words were "Are you KIDDING ME????".  

After awhile my husband, two other children, and daycare child arrived at the ER and I was put in a room.  I mean, LMM and I were.  Cause by now we BOTH have wrist bands on with our names and such.  Cause the intake nurse intook me.  I was admitted to the Children's Hospital.  (her words, not mine)

After awhile longer hives-large purple itching hives-covered me from my waist to my hair.  I was in complete misery and beginning to feel quite humiliated.  The pain and exiting was starting to subside and the full HORRIFIC truth of the situation was starting to kick in.  Also, LMM was feeling GREAT.  He was hopped up and kinda crazy on Motrin and 2 slushies.   I'd like to say for the record they assured me this was NOT the first time that they had a parent admitted who had brought in a child.  I was the first one to get so severely ill in less than 30 seconds.  

I'm not exactly sure what "admitted" means to them...we were only there a grand total of 5 hours.  After being seen by a pediatrician (yep, that hasn't happened for YEARS) I was given some Zophran (spelling?) and Benedryl.  I was pain and hive free within, oh, 10 minutes.  I then escorted LMM to his X-Ray and walked by "my" nurses.  They looked at me in shock.  Cause I was fine.  I told them I was feeling much better thanks so much!  I am so glad I do not actually know what they said about me behind my back.

LMM's lungs were clearing up nicely, but he did have respiratory flu.  Home again, home again, jiggity jig jog.

Or not.  

Cause I had gotten a dose of Benedryl.  Now, Benedryl may make the average person drowsy.  It makes me downright sedated.  I fell asleep at some point in our hospital stay.  But once I woke up we needed to drive home.  It is a wonder I didn't get a DUI.  

Thursday morning it just kept getting better.  I registered Snug for kindergarten *sniff* and while I was writing his school days on the calendar (he only goes 88 days next year...more on that at a later date) I must have gotten distracted.  Um, I do believe this is the work of LMM seems how Snug was at school and Rosebud cannot reach the table.  Yet.  At least he was kind enough to put the cap back on so it didn't dry out.  

I do believe I discovered my newly decorated calendar right after I found out that my washing machine was broken.  No idea what is wrong, they'll come look at it Monday.  

So a family of five really can't go too long without doing laundry.  Luckily we only had 3 used cloth diapers as I had JUST done them Wednesday (pre getting super sick in nothing flat and then having a miraculous healing).  We switched to disposables and tried not to dirty up too much stuff, but we were down to zero washrags or dishtowels by this morning.  

We decided to make a family trip to the laundromat this morning.  All children are well and despite wanting to keep everyone home and away from other germ infested people, #1 said it was time to get out of the house.  

We took inventory, loaded 4 baskets, and headed to a nearby town that has things to do while laundry was washing.  It is a cute town that has a kids consignment shop I love two doors down from the "mat".  The sun was shining, a light breeze blowing, 60 some degrees, and everyone was in good spirits.  And then the kids had to "potty".  

At the old train depot there is now a "chamber of commerce" and public restrooms so we headed there.  I remember hanging my purse (which I never ever use, but had used to take LMM to the hospital as I didn't need a diaper bag) on a hook in the restroom.  Then I helped him not touch anything in the bathroom, wash his hands, and we exited.  Back to the laundromat, pick up the wet clothes (our dryer is fine), back in the van, and drive to do another errand at another destination nearly 30 minutes away.  

As we arrived I reached for my purse as I had the money.  But there was no purse.  

Call police.

Drive back.

Purse was found and turned in.

Not a thing was missing.

PRAISE THE LORD.  I had prayed SO SO SO hard.  God is so good.  It could have been really bad.  

This little guy is back to 100% (minus a terrible cough that they said might linger a few more weeks).

This whole story is true.  As far as I remember it.  And that is why it was one of THOSE weeks.

Blur

Ready...

 Set...

 GO!

 When the boys wrestle with daddy...

 ...everything is a BLUR!

 Most of the time mommy doesn't watch...

 ...because basically it makes me nervous.

 The motto seems to be...

 ...the fun doesn't start...

 ...until somebody cries.

 Boys.  It is all a blur.

Losing My Testimony While Buying A Testament

I chose yesterday to be the day that I bought a new Bible.  Why I thought that would be a good idea at that particular date remains a mystery to me.  

When I was 15, my parents bought me a NIV Teen study Bible, and it has been my "main" Bible ever since.  I was given a small Bible when I graduated from college as I walked across the platform...but it isn't the same.  I do often take it to church and #1 calls it my "diaper bag Bible", mainly out of convenience.  But my "main" Bible has so many markings and side notes and underlined verses and comments that I really like to use it more.  

My women's Bible study at church is doing Beth Moore's Breaking Free.  It is killing me (which of course it isn't, but that is an inside joke if you've ever done the study).  This past week one issue we were dealing with pride.  Kings in Israel's history that made poor decisions because of  pride.  We as women are often in  bondage due to pride.  I know I am!  

Anyway, one of the things she wrote about was having to break in a new Bible.  That particular thing wasn't a pride issue for her or anything (it was just part of a story she was telling), but it started eating at me, because for me it is.  I kind of like having my "main" Bible with all its markings and notes and such.  It lookes, well, used.  And I certainly don't use it enough by any means.  But when I have my "main" Bible by my side, no one else would guess I don't read it everyday or as often as I should.  

So the Lord used that to speak to me.  And Little Monkey Man standing on my "main" Bible and ripping out a few more pages didn't hurt either.  So I swallowed my pride and decided it really was high time to be purchasing a new Bible.  Even if it does look crisp and new and people might think I don't read it.  Which I honestly don't often enough.

By the time all of the Draycare kids left, I had two hours until church started. I also had to go to the post office to mail a piece of a toy that had been recalled (which supposedly they will be replacing for free...good for us as it broke ages ago and I had just not thrown it away yet) and to Aldi to buy more jell-o for Snug's Valentine's Party today.  I seriously thought I had time to run three errands before church.  

The post office went as planned, complete with long lines, Little Monkey Man knocking down things off the wall as he jumped around, Rosebud screaming because she was in her carrier (Is it spring yet?  I need to use my slings.) and Snug informing everyone who would listen about how the post office had re-arranged its boxes/gift wrapping stations since he had been there at Christmas.  

And then we set off for the Christian Bookstore.  To buy a Bible.  Easy, right?  Of COURSE it was. 

We walked in, everyone kept their hands to themselves, I found the perfect Bible as soon as I walked in the door, it was on sale for practically free, and we checked out and headed out the door within 10 minutes of arrival.  Or not.  

We walked in and Rosebud had finally called it quits with the lung exercises.  However, Snug started complaining as soon as we walked through the door that "this is the worst store ever".  (In his defense at our old church I bought all the Bibles for new babies who were born and had their names put on them...so we used to frequent this particular store at least three times a month.)  After telling him to zip it because that was totally not polite we continued back to the Bible section.  Which is next to the Jesus junk section.

The WHAT?  Did I say Jesus junk?  I mean small plastic toys that say "Jesus" and break as soon as you even look at them and entice small children to touch touch touch touch.  Sorry MckMama, but your "use one finger and you can touch whatever" trick has not caught on well with my kiddos. I gave it a good effort. I so wish it had worked for us.  But it hasn't.  So we have a "put your hands in your pockets and don't touch a single darn thing and NO YOU CAN"T USE YOUR ELBOWS TO KNOCK YOUR BROTHER OVER" approach.  

So while my boys are itching to play with small plastic yo-yos and bouncy balls and who knows what else, I am trying to quickly choose a Bible that will hopefully last me another fifteen years.  Seriously?  I took my three kids to do that?  Unfortunately, yes.  

And then LMM had to potty.  Loudly.  No, he didn't potty loudly, he announced it.  As he does most everything.  Loudly.  We found that the bathroom was in use, so we stood oh so quietly outside the door to wait our turn(s).  And we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And somewhere in all that waiting, Rosebud woke up and discovered that she was indeed still in her favorite car seat.  Begin lung exercise.  Eventually a store employee emerged from the restroom and we were able to use the facilities.  

Back to the Bibles.  I played with the idea of letting Rosebud out of her car seat to roam around, but decided to put up with the crying over re-shelving half the store and adding yet another bruise to her poor little forehead.  I sat both boys down where they could do the least amount of damage and began my search in frantic.  The Bible I wanted was on the very top shelf where I barely could reach it and once I got it down, decided it was way out of my price range.  It was a really nice study Bible with references and such.  

Then as LMM started kicking the side of a metal display (insert gong sound effects) and Snug started singing one of his his famous made up dirges (think songs about the Lord and Diego and his pretend mice that last at least 4 minutes and contain a maximum of 4 notes) I spotted the perfect Bible for me.  

Photo Credit

I quickly compared it to the reference Bible that I was coveting (can you covet a Bible?) and discovered it was a much better price. It didn't have nearly the extras, but it does have more "useful extra stuff" than my "main" Bible has.  So we headed to the check-out. 

Then end.

Just kidding.  

While standing in line two things happened.  Do you want to know the good news or bad news first?  We'll go with the bad and get it over with. 

 LMM knocked over an ENTIRE Valentine's Day display.  ENTIRE.  I was mortified.  Really, how does one clean that up with three children in tow?  The clerk just stared at me.  And then the woman in line behind me said "Ma'am.  Don't worry about it.  I will clean it up for you." and she was very sincere and kind and non-judgmental about it.  And that is the good news.  And the other good news (slipped in two here) is that I also had a buy one get one half off anything in the store coupon.  So LMM got his OWN Bible that I had been thinking about getting for awhile.  (Daddy and Mommy sat him down and gave it to him by himself today.  He was thrilled.)  

I totally could have lost it with my kids in the Bible bookstore.  Isn't that awful?  I bit my tongue so many times and kept taking deep breaths.  Because, really, I should have never ever attempted that.  And because while their behavior was nothing short of awful, they are 4, 2 and nearly 10 months.  But I am truly glad God gave me the strength to NOT lose my testimony while buying a (new and old) testament.  Because when I lose my temper or get angry with them it isn't a great testimony to them or anyone else around.  And I need to remember that more often.  

Anyone want to go shopping with us Saturday?  No?  I thought not.  

Dear Santa....

Dear Santa,
First off I'd like to tell you that we don't believe. Ok, Snug isn't sure what he believes...but we've told him you're not real. Mostly because um, you're nice and all, but you don't exist. We just don't want to tell our kids that you and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are all real and then when they find out it isn't true...doubt if Jesus is real. Cause He is.

Secondly, I need to apologize to you. Because my kids are little. Little Monkey Man is only two. And he loves you. And he feels he needs to prove his love to you. I'm so sorry he stormed the stage at daddy's Christmas party to present you with his blanket.

I'm also sorry to all the children who were there who he completely ran over to get to you. At least it was funny. I'm also sorry that at the before mentioned party my daughter (8 months today!) felt the need to all but rip your (fake) beard and mustache off, leaving it hanging oddly the rest of the night.

Thank you for being so patient with small children this time of year even though you are not real (remember last year when Snug assaulted you to get his gift and then tore the paper off and threw it at you. I was so proud. Not.).
Regards to your (fake) wife,

Jenney

I didn't take pictures at the party last night (at #1's FOP lodge). These are from Little Monkey Man's party at school. This was by FAR the best looking Santa I've ever seen. Real beard and everything. And he had a blanket on his lap with a plastic trash bag under it in case anyone wet their pants. Snug did that when he was two when the Santa at the mall talked to him. It scared him that badly.

Christian moms...how do you handle "the Santa thing"???

**8 month old pics and stats coming tomorrow.

Toy Story 4...Beware The Mobile Baby

The three car friends, Lightning McQueen, DJ, and Chick Hicks, were hanging out on the rug one morning. "Free at last!" sighed Lightning as he wiggled his wheels in the short shag. "We've been in the box for nearly three weeks now!"

"Seriously" grumbled Chick. "That was getting old. I am glad to be back where I belong. On the open road...er rug. Nothing could bother me more than being in a storage box...well maybe being chewed on, but that isn't going to happen. Snug is so beyond that, and Monkey Man doesn't like to chew on cars."

"Speaking of which," Lightning said, "guys, I just want to remind you to be extra careful today. Slide under the couch if you can. Or the TV stand" cautioned Lightning. "The baby is mobile."

"Mobile? Whatever" sneered DJ. "That baby has been laying and drooling and staring at stuff for weeks. I know she can roll over, but its not like she goes far."

"Lightning" he continued. "I don't even see the baby. She's over sitting in her boppy enjoying a lovely set of plastic keys. I think we're fine." Lightning and Chick didn't respond. They were too busy scooting away.

"AAAAHHHHHH" yelled DJ as he felt his wheels leave the carpet. "She has me!"

"No! Not the mouth! Anything but the mouth!!!!" Yelled Chick as he saw the baby choose, then grab her victim.

"Help...someobody...help! Where is her mother?????? " Screamed DJ.

"Toys...beware. Baby. Is. Mobile. "

Oh What A Beautiful Morning, Oh What a Horrible Day...

I have a really bad feeling...tomorrow may be the same way.

Our weekend plans included:

Raking up the piles and piles of crispy crunchy maple leaves in our yard.

Going to the Pumpkin Barn and getting pumpkins/playing with the farm animals.

Going to a friend's 80th birthday party.

However.

This was not to be.

I got zero sleep last night. Whenever I laid down I felt like someone was sitting on my chest. Monkey Man coughed. All. Night. Long.
Rosebud cried. And coughed. And snotted. All. Night. Long.

My throat hurts as much last night and today as it did when I got my tonsils out. No lie. I've cried. It is excruciating.

This morning dawned bright and crisp and beautiful. It was the perfect day for our above mentioned plans. We loaded up the van and headed to Urgent Care.

It is never ever ever dull with our family. When we arrived there were only like one or two other people there. Yeah! I'd like to thank the X-Ray technician who tried to register us (not that it was his job mind you...he just thought he'd give it a try). Even though he was kinda a goof, he was a nice guy. He turned on Sponge Bob for the kids to watch...and I promptly whispered ferociously (as I have ZERO voice) that they could not watch that. He then gave me a drink of water (THANK YOU!!!!) and even was so kind as to bring one for both boys...he said he knew if I had a drink they'd want one too. He was so right.

Actual registration lady comes...Monkey Man has no less than 3 meltdowns and falls off of a rolling chair. Instead of sending us back to the waiting room, they usher us quickly into the vitals room.

Nurse is a little confused as to which three of the five of us are being seen, but patient with us. Gives the boys stickers. So far not too bad. We've been there about a half hour.

Next we are sent into an exam room. There is one exam table and one chair. I wish I had a camera. I'm up on the exam table with Little Monkey Man who is coughing ALL over the place. Snug is sitting on a counter top. #1 gets the chair. For about five minutes. Then everyone but me (cause I can hardly move) plays musical seats for awhile. Poor Rosebud is sitting in her car seat with green snot all over her face. She is miserable.

The doctor comes in and examines me first. She speaks English...she just doesnt understand English. Between the language barrier and my lack of voice, we were lucky she knew to even examine my throat. She says it looks just fine but I am a little congested. She says she wants to do a Strep test, and leaves. For a half hour.

The room we are in is around 85 degrees. As five people sit and sit and sit it gets hotter...and hotter. We start stripping the kids down. Rosebud ends up in just a onesie and diaper. #1 has his sweat pants (its first thing Saturday morning) rolled up to the knee and is down to a cut off t-shirt. I couldn't take anything off because all I wore were jeans and a sweatshirt.

I'd like to say for the record that I have three large, very visible blisters on the back of my throat. My Strep test may be negative, but my throat is FAR from fine. When she returns to tell me I am just fine we are all a little less than presentable. The boys are pretty crazy by then and trying to watch "Little Einsteins" on daddy's phone...with my splitting headache I am trying to tune it all out. And nurse Rosebud. Who can't breathe.

She has decided that because I am in pain I need an anti-biotic (since when is that why you give anti-biotics??) but notices I am breastfeeding and decides maybe to prescribe something else. She says "You are breastfeeding???" Evidently it is rare. She seems super surprised. Then she says I'll have to ask the pharmacist if I can take/how much Tylenol for pain. I guess she didn't do a labor and delivery rotation in this century. Pretty sure they dope you up with stronger than OTC Tylenol moments after delivery, even when you deliver naturally.

Then she turns to go. I politely whisper/scream "what about the kids???" She looks at me blankly and #1 politely interprets that there are 3 of us there to be seen. After a bit of a blank stare she says "that is why there were three charts in here". Yup.

Little Monkey and his croupy cough are next. She asks if he has any allergies or medical things she should know about. #1 tells her that he is wheat-gluten intollerant. "Gluten?? and Sheet?" What is "sheet?" #1 tries again, and she still doesn't get it. Finally I whisper/yell "bread! He can't have bread!" "Oh, VEET! He can't have gluten or veet". I'm really starting to wonder about this doctor...I start looking for hidden camera.

She says "he has a cough". He has been coughing pretty much since we arrived. I'm glad she caught on. He gets cough medicine.

Last is Rosebud. She wants to know how much juice/water she gets in a day. I do my best to whisper "none", that she is exclusively breastfed, has never had a bottle, and has just started getting about a tablespoon of baby food a day. Dr. looks at me like I have five eyes. She then askes if our pediatrician (I didn't mention we don't use a pediatrician) knows that we are doing this to her. We assure her our doctor knows and is on board with it. I wonder what she would have said if I told her the kids don't drink juice at all.

At this point I look over and apparently it is unbearably warm in the room for Monkey Man because he has taken his entire shirt off by pulling it down from the shoulders and then having it hang around his middle. I half cracked up. Because we've been there for nearly two hours, I feel horrible...and the doctor doesn't seem to know what she's doing and very soon my entire family is going to be in their underwear because it is SWELTERING.

Her next comment is so so so not re-assuring. She says "Well. I have been a doctor longer than you have been alive. Things must have changed since I had my training." SERIOUSLY???? I wasn't going to be allowed to teach much longer without getting my masters' degree. Are there no doctor refresher courses?

So Rosebud is to have her nose sucked out more often so she can latch better while feeding (I'll get right on that...since I told her that is what we have been trying) and take Tylenol if she has a fever. (Should I have mentioned her amber teething necklace :o)

#1 takes the kids to the van while I wait for our discharge papers. I sneeze and then cry because it hurts so bad. The nurse comes in with our prescriptions and then tells me my diagnosis is a sinus infection and laringitis. Gee, that might explain why I have no voice. I kept my mouth (literally) shut.

Go to the pharmacy. Neither of the presctiptions have names on them. Pharmacist spends next 20 minutes on the phone trying to sort it all out.

I should have been a doctor.

Know what was on TV today when I had the day to lay around and re-coop? Football. And Baseball.

I should have been a doctor...then I'd have cable!

Excuses

Excuses of why I haven't blogged...

Monkey Man running with a stick in his mouth, falling, and almost putting it through his sinus cavity. New scar.

Monkey Man getting sick at church...all over the nursery gate/children in the nursery as I picked up Rosebud.

First field trips. Chauffer Mom.

Cell phone that turns off...constantly...on its own.

Sick kids. Again.

Weekend guests for an all-girl's weekend.

Husband in Vegas. Fourth place out of 30 teams for Police Softball.

Draycare-when my kids aren't sick.

Low Milk Supply. (Nursing approx. every 2 hours)

Monkey Man's haircut. Drastic.

Bathroom Emergency Remodel. Ugh.

I have no other excuses. And no pictures (although I've taken TONS)

A Little Sacrilegious...But...

My husband. My husband deals with many children on a daily basis. Not just ours, but others as well. And while we both love children (hence the three we currently have)...young children are challenging.

So the other day we are sitting out on the deck sharing a quiet moment together watching several small children run around the backyard with bats and hockey sticks and he turns to me. With a completely straight face he said to me "You know. If God really wanted Pharaoh to let the Israelites go the first time...he would have sent a swarm of pre-schoolers".

I about died. So I've been collecting some pictures to back up his not-so-Biblical-yet-kinda funny statement.
Things like Snug using this cone as a bull horn. Like he needs to be any louder.

Or this Draycare child trying to get this hockey stick stuck in our basketball hoopby throwing it in the air...when unsuccessful he decided to beat it against the pole. (Yes, yes, I stepped in...just had to get the picture.)

There's always driveway hockey...with a basketball.

Or the constant constant constant in and out of the house. For a drink. To go potty. To get their dirty little sandbox feet on the couch.

See the glass? Our broken microwave plate. Yeah, that can send a mom over the edge.

And the tears. Oh the tears.

Tears and time-0uts.

And this cookie tin which had eight sandwich creams...which someone (who will remain anonymous but cannot tolerate even a smidge of gluten) ate and then had diarrhea and all the fun that comes with it for a few days. The cookie tin had been on the back of the stove. Not sure how I didn't lose it-both upon discovery of him eating them in his bed (along with having a pair of scissors stashed in his mattress!) but with the diapers that followed.

There's regression into trying to be the baby...and getting all of the baby things dirty/lost/broken.

And there's jumping off a porch 100 times and hitting 2/3 of the parade goers as they walk by. Cause everyone loves a nearly 40 lbs kid hitting them without notice.

I am not even ready to blog about the BM and urine on my new IKEA rug.

Yep. A swarm of preschoolers really might have gotten Pharaoh to let them go early.

What has your preschooler done lately?

The Proof is in the Pictures

This is a book we received in a bag of hand-me-downs. This isn't our exact copy, because ours is in English and Spanish. Mono Y Yo is what it is titled in Spanish. My husband calls Little Monkey Man "Mono". And yes, we really call Snug, Snug. As he grows bigger we call him it less and less, but if you ask him who Snug is, he knows.

This fast growing toddler grows into his daddy's nickname of "Mono" more and more everyday. He will be a jungle gym champ. We're pretty sure he'll ride a tricycle before his brother (Poor Snug...riding a bike is THE most frustrating thing for him). Yesterday our Little Monkey Man was in a particularly interesting mood so I kept a camera handy to share some of his antics with you...and so when he grows up and isn't my little boy anymore I can remember just how much mischief he could get into.

Here are some couch acrobatics.

Here he is standing on a chair during our preschool session. A folding chair. I've tried putting him in his high chair and giving him things to keep him "busy" but he chucks them at the kids who are trying to work and gets great pleasure out of screeching and seeing who is bothered by it. We now just let him run around and I remove him when he gets himself into dangerous situations (ex. standing on folding chairs). Homeschool moms, how do you deal with little ones while you are teaching bigger ones????

Ah, the motorcycle. He mounts it from the front...lays on top...spins around...and then sits down to ride like the wind. It looks painful, but not as painful of posting how nice our computer desk is organized at the moment.

While playing with the vintage Little Tykes party kitchen that I picked up for next to nothing at a garage sale a couple of years ago (come on, someone else out there remembers this relic) it is very necessary to be on top of it, hang over the edge, and then stick things into the cupboard on the other side...upside down. I didn't get the upside down picture because I was afraid he would (and he did) fall off and bump his head. I was on the other side to catch him. I'm not good with catching.

This may be one of my favorites. This is a built in china hutch (1 of 2) that we are not using in the rental. Monkey Man likes to open the door, climb up/in, and take a little break.

This last picture I had to snap while he was not looking because it is a BIG no-no. Anyone want dinner at my house? I won't tell you how many things he has "sampled" from this perch without me realizing it.

And to end, I have to tell you a funny from him. We've been teaching him that things are hot for quite a few months. He particularly enjoys blowing on hot food...with gusto. The other day I was opening the oven door to take dinner out (or put it in, don't remember). I told him to "get back, it is hot". He instead took a step forward and began blowing as hard as he could into the oven. I had to laugh. And then I had to make him step back. I know I am so tired right now, but I will miss these days when they grow up.