Sucking My Thumb

I have a serious thumb sucker. Serious. She found her thumb at one week, and has never looked back. It is her source of comfort. Self-soothing I do believe they call it.

I will admit (and I know many people will NOT be happy to know) that Rosebud and I co-sleep a bit. I never co-slept with the boys, and I don't do it all the time, but sometimes in the middle of the night I pull her into bed to nurse and then I fall asleep. I am a light sleeper most of the time, and we have a king size bed...she has plenty of room away from daddy who is not a light sleeper. If I don't fall asleep I do put her back into her bed, and right now she is sleeping in a pack n play really close to our bed.

This is not a co-sleeping post. I really could care less about it. I just had to share that bit of information to lay the groundwork for the post.

The last couple of nights when Rosebud wakes up and wants to eat (she used to sleep 10 hours a night...what happened???) she is fussy fussy but she won't latch. Want to know why? She is sucking her thumb. She is so busy trying to self-soothe she won't get her thumb out of her mouth to make way for what she really needs. Or, she tries to nurse and suck her thumb at the same time. Which also is impossible. I lay there and look at her and think "will you give up and let me take over?"

Sometimes I feel like I am sucking my thumb with God. I am so busy self-soothing and trying to do things on my own that I miss what He really has for me. Something better. Something I need. But no, I am too busy doing things for myself. I wonder if God looks at me and says "will you give up and let me take over?"