Thursday, April 19, 2012

It's The Reptile Man Mate

 **Insert really cool and authentic Australian accent**  "Do you like my necklace mate"?  (Ok, he didn't say "mate" but really he should have)
 Do you want to wear it mate?  (Seriously, he should have been using that phrase)
 "This snake is a Bawl Python.  She's full grown.  She could eat your baby sister.  What?  You want this for a pet?  Ask you mum.  I'm sure she'd be ok with it"  (Yes, he used the word "mum".  Don't forget to read all this with above said cool Australian accent)
 "My extremely large, oddly tame snake gives nose tickles.  Here's your nose tickle mate. (Don't ALL Australians use that word a lot?  Is it weird he didn't?)
 "Alrighty then Mates, this here is my baby snake.  He's not full grown.  He is only like nine feet long.  He'll get to be like 900 feet long.  He could eat you.  But you can come up and hold him."
 "Easy now mates this big guy is heavy but he won't hurt you because he too is strangely calm and I think I might have tranquilized him"
"And now it is time for the mums to come up and hold the snake".  This mum only got to hold the tail.  So I was disappointed because I actually like snakes.  Don't particularly want to own one, but they are pretty cool.  And then the "mum" next to me decided to investigate how a snake goes to the bathroom.  Really?  You get to hold a ginormous snake and you ask that?  She's clearly not my mate.

**I so don't remember his exact dialogue so I made it up.  He for sure didn't use the word "mate" which was most disappointing, and he for sure DID use the words "mum" and "nose tickles".  That's the facts as I remember them**

1 comment:

Esther said...


#2: How DO snakes go to the bathroom?