Police Post

I don't usually write about what #1 does at work because he could get in trouble. Things he takes reports on and arrests he makes are technically public record, but we are not at liberty to post them all over the internet.

However, after e-mailing back and forth with Cop Mama this week, I decided to ask #1 what some of his general pet peeves are. Things he wouldn't get in trouble for sharing, but are pretty funny. By the way, Cop Mama is new to the blogging world and you should pop on over and welcome her!

Here is #1's Top Ten things you should NOT call the cops about/or things that bug the dickens out of him

10. In the state of Ohio, "harassment" is not a crime. In fact, if you start the conversation with your friendly officer by saying "He's harrasin' me" it is almost guaranteed you've lost your case.

9. Do not walk to the police station and then demand that an officer come help you dispose of a mouse in a trap at your house.

8. The side of the cruiser says "Police", not "Taxi". No, you may not have a ride.

7. Do not call and ask that your elementary school age child be arrested because he/she will not obey you. In the great state of Ohio you have the right to discipline, yes, even spank your disobedient child. Please exercise your right.

6. If your neighbor mows part of your lawn, consider it a blessing. Do not call the police, they are not interested.

5. If the police have repeatedly gotten your children out of the street, do not

a) be surprised when they get hit by a car

b) expect the driver to be cited when your child ran into the side/back of their car

4. Please do not say "I PAY YOUR SALARY" when it is pretty clear you do not pay taxes of any sort.

3. When you see an officer in public, do not tell your toddler that the officer is going to arrest them if they don't "shut up". C'mon people, what message are we sending?????

2. Please do not report a crime that you are not sure actually happened if you have no more than a first name, absolutely no physical description, and that person may or may not be in the city. This also goes for calling the police when someone at least 300 miles away says they are going to beat you up. When you stop and think about it...probably not. Besides, at that point you have time to run away.

1. Do not ask an officer in uniform where things are in Wal-Mart or any other store she/he may be doing a "walk-through" in. They don't know. They don't work there.

Yes, these have all happened to #1...most of them multiple times.