Saturday, May 23, 2009


Today's post is a reflection, a sorting out, and a healing for me. I thought about not even publishing it, there are times I blog, delete, and move on with life. Today though, I believe I will hit publish, as many of your heartfelt posts have been ointment to wounds I have had...and maybe this one will be for one of you.

A very dear friend, who does not read my blog (as you will pick up on soon), was poking a bit of fun at me being a stay-at-home mom, especially since I stay home and blog. She kept saying they had a name for me at her know, those stay-at-home moms who blog. She didn't share what the term was, as her children and mine were playing together, but I didn't need to hear the derogatory term to be hurt. She only knows I even have the blog as I asked her permission in the past to post pictures of her children. She also thinks many of the cleaning/cloth diapering/environmentally friendly living things I get off of YOUR blogs are pretty dumb. She is a good enough friend that the comment will not destroy our friendship, and if it comes up again I will address the issue. Our friendship is not the point of the post.

The point of this post is to say, whether stay at home or working, blogging or anti-blog, we are all hard working moms. I feel personally that my job is at home with my children first and foremost. For those of you who have read my posts before you know I also work full-time out of my home (with less than part time pay) watching other people's children. If these moms didn't work, I'd be out of a job and back in the workforce.

Hats off to you working moms (not that being a stay-at-home mom isn't a working mom, but you know...working OUT of the home moms) who can do both well. I sit for a mom who does a phenomenal job of both. She is both one of the best teachers I ever worked with and has wonderful children and a great family life. I for one, was terrible at both. My classroom either was suffering because I was enjoying Snug and my husband, or I was absent from my family and consumed with work. Working both outside of the home and taking care of a home is an extremely daunting, challenging thing. Encourage those in your life who manage both...they are undoubtedly very tired and stretched.

Hats off to you stay-at-home moms. It isn't easy to live often paycheck to paycheck, find odd jobs to do (or have a hubby who is willing to take lots of overtime) so you can go on vacation, be home with no one to talk to hours at a time, and lose many of your former friends. I think being a stay-at-home mom is one of the loneliest things I've ever done. Thank goodness for Thursday library group, Friday playgroup, and my good friend Mindy (also runs a home daycare). My husband is also a huge support for me...he has to hear EVERYTHING after I've been home for 9+ hours by myself with several children. Encourage stay-at-home moms you know...their lives are not easy.

As for the blogging...I know it takes up time, and many working moms, or anti-blog people probably think it is time wasted. For me it is therapy...realaxing...and reflective. When I have had the chance to sit down and blog, or read other peoples' blogs, I am a better mom and wife. I often come away from the computer with more love for my children, appreciation for my husband, and new ideas to make cleaning and housework more enjoyable. It has certainly deepened my prayer life as I pray for others I don't even know, or rarely see. It has challenged my thinking in so many areas of life, and it has brought friends into my house where friends rarely enter.

Thank you to everyone who reads and comments on my blog. It makes me know that people out there enjoy my family and sometimes your comments put me in my place and make me remember what is truly important. Thank you!

Thank you to everyone whose blogs I read. From my friend Megan's (who you need to update more sister!) funny stories about her oldest, Carrie's blog that teaches me many new life skills, Erin's videos that let me see how her son is growing, to my cousin Melissa's blog that keeps me in touch with family I desperately miss. Thank you.

*There are many many more blogs I enjoy that I didn't mention...not because I don't love them...just didn't name them all. On the right hand side of my blog they are all listed in the order they have been updated. If I didn't list yours, it isn't because I don't like it...I only have ones listed that I love!


MELISSA said...

Great post Jenney - well said!

Anonymous said...

i of course only check it 4 or 5 times a day! So, THANK YOU for sending us news of life in Ohio . . . SO far from Michigan at times! i love reading yours and some that you are connected to. i know it takes a lot of your time but it is our pleasure to read. Love, Mom

Kim M said...

I love your blog and enjoy watching your little ones grow! It was invaluable when Baby J was in his medical emergency and we could know how to pray. I feel connected and enjoy your humor/writing/views (whether I agree or not). I have so much respect for mom's who can stay at home and raise their kids. I didn't have that privilege but was blessed with a caring and loving caregiver for my children. I am very thankful. Keep up the blogging.

Mandy said...

I'm a teacher so I get the best of both worlds. I get to be home with my kids for 8 weeks in the summer and I get to/have to work (which, even though it's sooo very hard to do both, I think keeps me sane). After 8 weeks home during the summer, I realize why God wants/needs me working. It's tough to stay at home and it's tough to work outside of the home. It's just tough to be a mom period.

drahdrah said...

I also have a Baby J, that's what caught my eye on your profile, from your comment on MckMama's blog.
Wonderful post. So true and well said.... Your blog is now on my list !

Erin Morgan said...

I agree with Melissa's comment - Well said!! It is fun to keep in touch with old friends and family from miles away and feel like you're involved in their lives. Thanks for saying what you did!!

Megan said...

Good post. Sometimes I think we forget as moms we are ALL on the same team! We all love our kids and want the best for them whether we work outside the home or not or have a blog or hate them.
Oh and you are SO right I really do need to blog. I have several posts in my head they just haven't made it on the computer yet.

All Things Family said...

Awww....I totally understand you about the stay at home mom stuff....the way I view it is I do work, I just opted to make Zaden and my husband/house/running our lives day to day my work. I mean, if I was working outside the home, someone elses work would be to keep my son, and my husband would be doing a LOT more work around the house....and blogging isn't for everyone..but don't knock it till you've tried it! It's a nice little community we have here :)

CFMama said...

Thanks for the post, you hit the nail right on the head. My life is crazy hectic with keeping my one son, Nathan, healthy (medications, treatments, medications, treatments, etc) and my husband's salary barely covers the mortgage alone. But we are sacrificing for our son's health.

And blogging IS therapy!!! What else would we do without our little connection to the outside world?

suzannah said...

real friends ought to be able to respect one another's differences and choices and not degrade them!

you are a great mom, and who care if anyone else thinks blogging is a waste of time? we know the value of community built across miles:)