Snug:
Ok, so sometimes I decide I am too big for naps, so I choose instead to do all sorts of thing to entertain myself/my brother and keep us both awake. It really is a riot until the night I had to stay up later than normal and behave around my daddy's friends...man, that was a bad move.
We went to this party where they had many of my favorite junk foods, but I was so tired, as I ate I cried through the entire meal. Perhaps part of the reason I cried is that I remember last year oh so well when a little girl in the food line behind me wet her pants all over because she waited too long to go to the bathroom. It is hard to follow up that kind of entertainment from year to year I suppose. This year I was asked by my mother to sit and sing Christmas carols with the other 50+ children. I was just too depressed.
We went to this party where they had many of my favorite junk foods, but I was so tired, as I ate I cried through the entire meal. Perhaps part of the reason I cried is that I remember last year oh so well when a little girl in the food line behind me wet her pants all over because she waited too long to go to the bathroom. It is hard to follow up that kind of entertainment from year to year I suppose. This year I was asked by my mother to sit and sing Christmas carols with the other 50+ children. I was just too depressed.
And so then my mommy decided to bribe me with an M&M because, well, quite frankly I was starting to cause a scene blubbering through "Jingle Bells". It worked for awhile, and had I believed in Santa (I don't) that might have worked too, because he was about to make his entrance.
Now a present is worth smiling for. I was about the fifth name called, because I am just lucky (do you know how many raffles/contests/etc. I have won in my short lifetime???). All the other children had taken & would take
Option A: Sit nicely, have your picture taken, and then go unwrap your present
OR
Option B: Scream at Santa, squirm, and run for mommy.
Being the inventive child that I am, I chose Option C: None of the above.
Option C is jump into Santa's lap almost dumping him over, then ignore him all together, rip the paper off the present instead of sitting nicely for a photograph, hand Santa the paper, and run off the stage. Isn't that a fun option? I thought so.
I guess it is better than Option D which I chose last year which was to wet my pants when Santa tried to talk to me*. Mommy thought this was a better option, but would choose A for me next year.
Because my behavior in general was SO great, as soon as my brother's name was called and he got his gift, we skedaddled home to bed.
*not the FOP Santa, a different one. If 2 kids had wet their pants at one party we may not have had another one this year.
Little Monkey:
Have YOU EVER been to a Christmas party with 50+ children under the age of 12???? OH MY GOODNESS was that a blast. My brother kept crying and I just couldn't sit still. I crammed my mouth full of the most delicious stuff my mother has never made for me, and demanded more!
DO YOU SEE THIS TREE???? There is no babygate around it, and there was no one around to tell me NO every time I touched it. This party ROCKS!
Speaking of 50+ children, do you KNOW what it sounds like when they all sing/yell/run/talk at the same time? Wow, it is glorious. I laid on the floor and let them step on me, I grabbed unsuspecting little girls' hair, and I ran around like a madman. This folks, is what Christmas is all about!
The singing of Christmas carols was not my favorite part, so I chose instead to walk around the stage area and check everyone out. If you didn't pay attention to me, I gave you the evil eye. Good times.
But then the fun ended. Not only did my mother apparently not snap my pants well enough before I went on stage, this guy tried to hold me. HELLO STRANGER DANGER! I was having none of that. I believe I was given a present which my mother made my dad return to Wal-Mart ASAP*, but I was too busy to really notice, and then was whisked out the door and to bed. I cannot WAIT for more holiday parties!
*the gift was a small plinky piano that was LOUD. Mommy had it exchanged for a travel size Magnadoodle. I know, she is a spoil sport.
6 comments:
Ok, I am STILL laughing! That is one of the funniest posts I've ever read!!!
Pants wetting, crying, Stranger Danger, and unsnapped pants...gotta love it!
That was hilarious. I've always thought of that with Santa--can you imagine how it looks from their perspective?
HO
HO
HO. (Little Christmas Story reference there...)
This sounds like a NIGHTMARE to me!!! I think I would totally lose my mind!
You are SUPERMOMMY!
Blessings-
Amanda
Too funny. You never really think about how things are interpreted by them. Hopefully your Christmas party (parties?) goes better this weekend! Counting down the days...
Melissa
p.s. I told Jayce tonight that we were going Nana and Papa's house tomorrow to play with cousins and he said, "James?" Looks like I'm not the only one looking forward to seeing you guys.
Jenney-You are toooo funny! I laughed until I almost wet my pants. :) I could almost hear you telling the story out loud. It was great.
I heard that Draycare is going through some bouts of illness. Hopefully with this break you will get a break and everyone will get well.
Merry Christmas! :)
I about wet MY pants on 'STRANGER DANGER'...lol...I think all parents have been there.. :) Just think about it next year when you have the lil babe too... ;)
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